Oh shit! Can you believe that it is going to be 15 years since South Park first debuted on Comedy Central? 15 years of following the misadventures of Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Eric Cartman and the rest of the South Park kids in their quiet mountain town where some of the strangest, horrific and insulting things that television audiences have ever seen take place. These four foul-mouthed kids and their friends have been entertaining their fans for all these years, and while every episode seems to be a classic in toilet humor comedy, there have been a select few that really stand out among the crowd. I know I certainly do. I have selected my ten favorite episodes from the first 15 seasons of this hilarious show as we prepare for the debut of the 16th season on March 14, 2012. So here’s to you; and if you don’t like my list “screw you guys, I’m going home.”

Honorable Mention: South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Original Release Date: June 30, 1999

You have to mention this movie when you talk about the best of South Park. When South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut was released, critics were ready to quickly dismiss the film as nothing but trash and gutter humor. Little did they realize that this musical (wasn’t that a fucking shocker) would have some of the best music for a film that year. Music so good that one song was even nominated for a Best Song Academy Award. (Blame Canada, lol) Unapologetic and punishing, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut definitely stands out amongst all the episodes ever produced.

10. Breast Cancer Show Ever, Season 12

Original Air Date: October 15, 2008

This episode rocks for one reason and one reason only: Eric Cartman finally gets his. After years and years of getting the best of every other character in the series, Cartman finally pisses off Wendy Testaburger so much that she decides to just step up to the plate and kick Cartman’s ass. But before she can do that, she has to decide is she can live with the consequences since Cartman has played her parents right into his hands. But after a talk with Principle Victoria, Wendy gets her revenge and Cartman gets his comeuppance in front of the entire school. 

9. The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring of the Two Towers, Season 6

Original Air Date: November 13, 2002

When the boys watch The Lord of the Rings on VHS, it sparks an interest in them to role play the characters from the film; but when they accidentally give Butters a misplaced porn movie in the box instead of the movie, all hell breaks loose. Soon the parents are freaking out about what the kids may and may not have seen, Butters is left scarred for life, as is Token, and the boys have a group of older kids chasing them down so they can see the copy of Backdoor Sluts 9 for themselves. 

8. Woodland Critter Christmas, Season 8

Original Air Date: December 15, 2004

What happens when you let Eric Cartman devise his own Christmas story? Well, you get this episode, that’s what. Using his closest friends as characters in this story, Cartman tells the story of how Stan unwittingly helps a group of woodland critters give birth to the anti-Christ. A mix of murdering mountain lions, blood orgies and Santa bring this episode to an end - but not before Cartman’s true purpose of putting down Kyle once again for being Jewish is revealed at the end. 

7. Go God Go (and Go God Go XII), Season 10

Original Air Date: November 1, 2006

I love this episode because I know several people who acted just like Cartman did when the Wii was about to drop in stores. They thought it was the end all be all system and just could not wait a couple days more to grab one. Of course, this being Cartman, things just have to go to the nth degree, so he devises a plan to freeze himself in the mountains and be awaken, by Butters no less, when the Wii comes out. Of course, things don’t go as planned and he ends up waking hundreds of years in the future. And just what does Ms. Garrison’s new beau have to do with everything?

6. Cartman Gets an Anal Probe, Season 1

Original Air Date: August 13, 1997

Forget that this is the first episode that aired on Comedy Central that started the whole craze. Forget that this crude and simple artistic style would endear itself to thousands of viewers around the world. I love this episode for one reason only - Kyle’s rant at the aliens when they ignore his pleas to return his little adopted brother, Ike. When the uncaring aliens turn their back on a pleading Kyle, he lets out a censored filled rant that one could only imagine what was actually said. This rant would set the tone for the entire series and let viewers know that this was no Simpsons. South Park was not only crossing the line, they were going to burn the damn thing up and set a new one way farther than anyone imagined it could go. 

5. Imaginationland (Parts 1, 2 and 3), Season 11

Original Air Date: October 17, 2007

In this three-part special, Imaginationland is seized by terrorists hoping to destroy the US by destroying the good parts of people’s imaginations. They unleash a horde of villainy which includes Jason, Freddy, Pinhead, ManBearPig, the Woodland Critters and a slew of other nasty make-believe creatures on the good characters of Imaginationland. As the kids try and find a way to stop the terrorists and the evil horde, only one kid has the power to do so. But leaving the fate of the human imagination in the hands of Butters is like leaving KFC fried chicken skins in fronts of Eric Cartman - a bad idea all around. 

4. Trapped in the Closet, Season 9

Original Air Date: November 16, 2005

In an episode that was meant to do nothing else but mock the beliefs of the Church of Scientology, this episode was just too damn funny to turn away from. When Stan is believed to be L. Ron Hubbard reincarnated, the Church sets out to present him as such. But when famous followers like Tom Cruise and John Travolta decide to lock themselves in Stan’s closet and refuse to come out, all hell breaks loose around the Marsh household - especially when Stan decides on a new course of action for the Church; a course that doesn’t sit well with the higher ups. 

3. Good Times with Weapons, Season 8

Original Air Date: March 17, 2004

As a big anime fan, this episode just rocked me. To see the kids by some “far east” weapons to play with and become anime-like versions of themselves was hilarious. Especially when they face their rivals and an anime inspired song referencing “protect my balls” and “let’s fighting love” plays in the background. All the while, the kids have to figure out how to get Butters, who has a ninja throwing star impaled into his eye, to a hospital without getting in trouble for purchasing the weapons and hurting their friend. But since this is South Park, hurting their friend wasn’t the worst possible thing they could have done. Not compared to what Cartman does at the end of the episode.

2. Make Love, Not Warcraft, Season 10

Original Air Date: October 6, 2006

With cooperation from the good people over at Blizzard, this episode is not only one of the funniest episodes ever in the history of the show, but one of the best presented. When the kids become addicted to World of Warcraft they are shocked to find out that there is a player out there who is so powerful he is breaking the rules and killing everyone else in the game. The kids decide that they must level up as high as they can to take down the evil player. And the people at Blizzard decide to help by handing them an enchanted weapon, the Sword of a Thousand Truths, that will be the only thing able to stop the malicious gamer.

1. Scott Tenorman Must Die, Season 5

Original Air Date: July 11, 2001

Wow! What can you say about this episode that already hasn’t been said? This is the defining episode that really showed you that South Park was no Simpsons - more importantly, that Cartman was no Bart Simpson wannabe. When an older kid tortures Cartman just for kicks, Eric Cartman decides that there is only one way to get back at him. Through manipulations and deceit, Cartman enacts his final revenge on the unwitting Scott Tenorman - by feeding him his own parents whom he had ground up into chili. What makes this episode even worst is when you realize in Season 14's episiode 201 that Jack Tenorman, Scott’s father, was also Cartman’s own biological father!